There’s a lot of new products in the shops at the moment. It’s almost as if the high street is chivvying us out of summer and on with our lives. Coats are prominent, as are cardigans. I feel like they’re saying: “Remember tights? You might want to think about buying some more. Did you get fat this past year? Buy a new coat. Boots. Oh, you’ll definitely needs boots, dear.”
There’s a definite kind of back to school, muted or rich tones, structured-luxe feel to autumn/winter’s accessories. As if to get us in the mood for bundling up and strolling among the fallen leaves. I’m all for structured luxe when it comes to accessories. There’s nothing I like better than rocking a foxy bag that makes me feel like I’m in Mad Men. I’m down with that. I get casual and I get slouchy but I just can’t pull that off. It’s not what I find appealing and it’s not how I want to come across.
I try to keep to small bags, myself. Mainly because if I have a bag of any actual size, I will fill it completely. I’ll have half used packs of paracetamol in it, rocks with willies drawn on them, a thousand tampons and my filofax that hasn’t been used in six months. They give me back ache and I look like a scruffy bag lady. Plus, I think big bags make my frame look bulky. Dainty, little petite girls look cute with over-sized totes but I just look like a heifer who might have half a roast chicken in her bag.
I try to use clutches if I’m going out. Not out-out but just to see a friend or to go to the movies. If you’re a girl, I’m sure you’ll sympathise with the almost SAS levels of minimalism this requires, especially when you consider my earlier admissions. Just getting the damn things closed are a feat only achievable by jedis and wizards. My mobile is the Samsung Galaxy Note (read: brick sized giganto phone) and I’ll be honest: it never fits inside.
Clutches are cute though. They immediately make whatever you’re doing feel fancier and they give you something to do with your hands if you’re feel awkward (read: ALL THE FREAKING TIME). They also, and bear with me here because I know this probably makes no sense, make me feel more feminine and weirdly sophisticated as they’re kind of old fashioned. For a start, Kate Middleton always carries one and she’s a frickin’ princess (shut up pedants). Plus, I remember reading this thing ages ago about fashion in the fifties and sixties and the article said that back then, bags didn’t have shoulder straps. They weren’t fashionable or they hadn’t been invented or something. All bags had either little handles (a la Christina Hendricks) or they didn’t have any at all. So by using a clutch, however tenuously, I feel all ladylike and sixties. Basically, girls, it’s awesome. Try it. Heave-out the hobos, toss out the totes!
So I’m partial to buying the occassional bag, basically. That said, as a vegan, I’ve got a gripe. I’ll make it quick because I’m sure you’d rather look at the pretty pictures than hear a vegan moan. Picture this: I walk in to Accessorize and I see a ton of gorgeous, lady-like bags in earthy hues. Right up my street, guys. I pick one of them up. The price tag says £55.00. Holy shit, I think, this must be leather. I’m a bit gutted because 1. I can’t afford it and 2. It’s leather, so I wouldn’t buy it anyway. Being an annoying nosy sod, I look for the label inside. When I find it, I’m irked to discover the bag isn’t leather. Well, that’s great because I can buy it now but, my dears, why on God’s green Earth does a bag that isn’t leather cost £55.00?? Why are you doing this? Seriously, you’re a high street shop. I can go in to New Look and buy a similar bag for £15.00. Why hike your prices up? I’m not saying go and justify your prices buy killing a load of cows, I’m pleased as punch your bags aren’t leather. All I’m saying is, I don’t think your bag is of sufficient quality to warrant such a high price tag. That’s all.
And with that, my friends, here’s my pick of autumn/winters goodies. I know I said I’m in to clutches but I know practically they’re not always possible (as in, when ever you need to carry more than a credit card and a car key). So here’s a shit ton of awesome (all vegan, natch):