It never fails to surprise me when people think that I go without chocolate because I’m vegan.
Hello?! Are you kidding me? I’m a fucking girl, of course I eat chocolate!
Here’s the phrase that I parrot out to all the all people I meet that have this ridiculous idea that vegans waste away on salad and lentils: “With the exceptions of meringue and clotted cream, whatever food item you think of, there is a vegan equivalent. They’re the only two things of which I haven’t found a vegan version. I don’t go without. Whatever you think of, they’ve made a vegan version.”
(By the way, if anyone can point me in the direction of vegan meringue or vegan clotted cream, I’d be most grateful.)
So with that said, my dears, let me take you by the hand, be reeeeally patronising and introduce you to the world of vegan chocolate as I know it.
I don’t really go in to all the fancy-pants dark chocolate. There are mountains of excellent dark chocolate out there and if you’re interested in it, I suggest you talk a stroll around your local Hotel Chocolat (the shop assistants are really helpful there, they’ll cream themselves at the thought of helping you pick something) or get your mitts on some Green and Black.
Next up, Kinnerton Luxury Dark Chocolate. I also get this from my local Asda. They don’t always have it. It says it’s dark chocolate but I don’t actually find it that dark. It tastes more milk chocolatey to me. When I went vegan all those years ago, I made the change around Easter time. I remember my head nearly exploding when I saw that Asda were selling a Kinnerton vegan chocolate easter egg! Needless to say, I bought it and consumed a lot of it right there and then (I was ignorant to the ways of vegan chocolate then too, y’see). I seem to remember having a Kinnerton chocolate bunny once. Anyway, I really like this chocolate. It’s good quality and not too sweet.
Buccaneer, Twilight, Jokerz and Mahalo bars are things of beauty. They are pretty darn difficult to find. The only places I’ve seen these in the flesh are the Secret Society of Vegan’s shops, VX, in London and at vegan fayres. They’re available online all over the place. If and when you see them, dears, friggin’ buy as many as you can afford. Each of these four bars is the vegan equivalent of a mainstream chocolate bar. So there’s a Mars bar, a Milky Way, a Bounty and a Snickers bar. Whenever I see these, they are horrendously over priced but by jingo, they taste awesome!
Lastly, Moo Free Chocolate is the big daddy for those of you that want a decent dairy free milk chocolate. The only place I know that sells it, other than online, is Holland and Barrett, so it’s harder to get hold of than most of the chocolates listed here (except the Mars knock offs) but it’s not impossible to find. You might want to stock up on it when you can. Moo Free is an excellent dairy free milk chocolate. I’d say it’s the best on the market. I remember the first time I tried it at the Brighton (or was it Bristol?) vegan fayre a few years ago…I was so surprised by the quality that I bought a ton of it then and there. I remember sitting there with my boyfriend of the time, shoveling their chocolate drops in to our faces and grinning like idiots. We were easily amused, I guess.
So there you go. It’s by no means conclusive (you could build a veritable chocolately palace from all the vegan chocolate on the market) but there’s my list of my favourite vegan chocolate, to prove to the blissfully ignorant among you that: yes, vegans can (and do) eat chocolate.
Guess what? Vegans can get fat too.
*coughs* Don’t eat to much vegan chocolate. *coughs*